The Five Stages of a Hangover

Stage One: The Queasiness

This usually comes with waking up in the morning. Early. Before your alarm goes off. Accompanied by groaning and grumbling at how ridiculously early it is.

Stage Two: The Insatiable Hunger

Becomes interchangeable with The Queasiness. Usually kicks in around 10am. Recogniseable by its unique feeling of unsatisfiable ravenousness. Results in a gargantuous fry-up and copious amounts of full-fat cola.

Stage Three: The Hyperness

Normally born out of the fact that the alcohol is still prevailent in your bloodstream, comes once the queasiness has subsided. Lasts until around 1pm.

Stage Four: The Grouchiness

Emerges once The Hyperness has worn off. Born out of frustration due to The Insatiable Hunger.

Stage Five: The Come-Down

Develops out of The Grouchiness once the effects of The Insatiable Hunger have left you bloated. Feeling of repressed sadness and melancholy....
....Results in another drinking binge.